It’s been over a year since I’ve posted to this site, and much has been happening. Today, I’ll pass on an update on my mother, who has Alzheimer’s, and for whom I renovated a nearby townhouse in 2008. She’s been living a short walk away for over a year, with a full time caregiver (bless you, Althea!) and support from Laurie Garret, Lisa Svare, the townhouse community, and Senior Access of Marin.
The best part is that she is thriving, and seems more engaged and cheerful in a supportive environment that has lots of activities and people around. She settled in well, and I’m very happy with my choice (Alma Via of San Rafael). They have lots of activities, my mom has a lovely room with new furniture, and she almost always seems happy when I see her.
The hard part is that I can feel (finally!) how stuck I am, between the place of connection and loss. She is here and she is not. I cannot grieve, as she is here. But I cannot connect with her, as she is not all here. I have an ocean of feeling, yet I cannot express it.
One delightful and unexpected side effect of this change is that we are now caring for my mom’s dog, a 12-year-old german shepherd named Sheba. She is a delight, although she generates more hair than a barber shop, and we have to vacuum every couple of days. Bright, easygoing, loving and attentive…it’s been a long time since I’ve had a dog, and she has changed our lives for the better.